The boys filled the spaces on the couch so I sat on the arm of the chair Darry sat on. I didn't think too much of it because the only library we had was on our side of town but I wish I would've. Johnny said that Pony had gone to the library and would be back soon. I was just happy she hadn't shown up.Įveryone was currently home except for Ponyboy and Dally, of course. I liked to pretend I didn't care but I still did. It had only been six or so days since he got thrown in and surprisingly I hadn't heard from his drag of a girlfriend. I had no idea what they were doing but they always came home in one piece so it was alright with me.ĭally was still in the slammer. With school almost starting, Pony and Johnny were out almost every day, from sunrise to sunset. The streets weren't the only think that felt abandoned that summer. It was looked at like a desert, except it wasn't at all. The street were dusty and dry during the long summers and not too many people went out like they did during the spring. Although there was probably about 100,000 people living here, everything felt abandoned. The beauty and power of the scapegoat is true sovereignty.The worst part about Tulsa was the emptiness. No one can take this away from us, and no one can deny it. The power of believing in ourselves and believing in our own truth. At first, we might reject ourselves in the ways others rejected us.īut, if we use the power of the scapegoat, we learn an incredible lesson: the power of self-acceptance and self-respect. The real power of the scapegoat is in being rejected for what one is. Awareness of your soul’s purpose and your ability to be your real, honest, truthful self. Awareness of the deep dysfunction some families and systems expose. ![]() She is your way to awareness and to innocence-awareness of what your truth is, and the innocence of pure seeing. Her confusion as to why this happened in the first place.īut on another layer, she is the key to your freedom. Her stories of being wounded and rejected. And you can heal her by listening to her. If you were the scapegoat or you still are playing this role, your job is to heal the scapegoat inside of you. You are here to shine, with the magnificence of all of your deep truth and beauty lighting the way. Your identity soon became that of the rebel, the reject-the outsider.īut my dear light being, you aren’t here to play a role. Some kind of social identity is better than none at all. You gave up listening to the truth inside of you, because who can live with that type of rejection? We all need to survive. Soon, you became the scapegoat of your own volition. They made you feel like you weren’t good enough, and cruelly punished you when you didn’t fit in. It scared them because it threatened them-your awareness, your intuitiveness, your refusal to conform-on an energetic level, it was terrifying to their egos. More aware and more awake coming into this life, and that scared those around you. You were, dear soul, likely, a more awakened being to begin with. You refused to, on a certain level, engage in “tribalist” dynamics and the in-group, out-group rules of dysfunctional systems. You were likely the scapegoat because you were different. Healthy people do not condemn or marginalize others for no reason, or really, at all. Healthy people do not use blame as a way to relate. Bottom line: healthy people do not project all of their darkness and all of their issues onto one person. If you are or have been the scapegoat, you experienced the projection of dysfunctional people. And the worst part is that part of me believed I deserved it.īut, despite all this, the scapegoat holds remarkable power. ![]() Is being misunderstood a way of life for you?Įven as I write this, I am inwardly flinching at the remembrance of being unheard. The one who couldn’t get it right-the one who couldn’t be accepted no matter how hard you tried? The one for whom approval, validation, and even basic human respect stayed just out of grasp?Īnd on a darker side-did you experience the brunt of physical or emotional abuse in your family-while others got through unscathed?ĭo you now, as an adult, play the scapegoat often? Do you get blamed for things whenever there is blame to go around? Do you try to prove yourself, only to be invalidated time and time again? Is it hard for you to feel like an adult after being treated like a child for much of your life? *Warning: well-deserved naughty language below!
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